[I write this on Monday 17/03/2014]
I watched Chris Rock’s ‘Good Hair’ documentary a few years ago. It left me with dropped jaws, cracked ribs and thinking. Thoughts regarding hair that until today lay quiescent somewhere in my scatter brain.
I relaxed my hair this past weekend. It has been met with whys and compliments as well as ‘disappointment’ from some. Ha.
I wasn’t going to do a post on this, at least not an entire hair post anyway. Probably something random suffixed by: “PS:I relaxed my hair guys! 🙂 “ But somewhere in between upsetting compliments and people’s apparent disappointment, this post was spawned.
When I cut my hair in December 2012 it was not because I needed to shed my crown of glory to learn natural beauty that is independent of the dead cells that reside on my head. It was simply for change, and somewhat adventure as I have stated before. I have always felt beautiful. Not in a narcissistic and vain kind of way but in a self-aware, self-loving kind of way. (I do want smaller hips though!)
It was fun to document my natural hair journey, and I do miss the character it had. I do not, however, regret relaxing it (yet). I am happy to have been an inspiration and motivation to a few friends and readers to go natural. If you are disappointed in my relaxing of MY hair, I am sorry that you feel that way, but that is of your own. It has been in my hair plan to either lock my hair or relax it when I got fed up of natural hair. And the latter just so happened to have been executed last Friday.
This post is getting messy. So many things that I would like to say and no words to express them.
Let’s back up to GOOD HAIR. What is good hair? After today, I am starting to think that good hair is straight hair. According to the world at least. Or should I say according to men? I don’t know, but I’m disgusted by the possibility of the ‘validity’ of this notion in the world.
Three male friends made comments about my new relaxed hair today. It may be of worthy note that these men are of different races: White, Indian and Black. We will see the relevance of this later.
Guy 1: I see you did your hair. It looks nice
**So all this while I’ve worn my hair wash n go, in braids, in a big stretched out afro, sleeked back into a bun, as an afro puff, bantu knot out, fro-hawk, wrapped in a turban and in a myriad of other ways, you haven’t considered it DONE? Is done hair straight hair? Is nice hair straight hair?**
Guy 2: A different hairstyle! What’s this one called? You should keep it; it’s nice. Not that afro. *gestures to show an afro* This is nice. But that’s just my opinion.
**Are you relieved that I am no longer wearing an afro? I should keep it straight? I see.**
Guy 3: You were running out of ways to tie your headscarves? Your hair looks nice.
Firstly, whatever this ‘NICE’ is, I do not like it. I do not know what the association with ‘nice’ and relaxed / straight hair is, but these guys all used the word in reference to my ‘new’ hair, whilst implying that how I wore it before was not as good. I know some of you are thinking I should just take these guys’ compliments on my new straight hair and swallow them. No. I refused to just swallow (ahem). I chose to taste every one of these well-meaning remarks, swish them in my mouth, swirl them, and sniff the glass for any stale whiffs (whether meaningfully or not). I chose to pay attention to the taste they would leave on my palate and it was a bad one, that after-taste.
Now, I know that I should not take these 3 guys as a representation of men in general, but their remarks sure as hell stunned me. Is this what men think about African women that wear their natural hair? Curiously, 3 men from totally different cultural backgrounds had a common ring to their remarks about my change in hair style: they preferred my relaxed hair to my natural hair; I am not sure why, because according to Chris Rock “Guys don’t care”. But these guys cared enough to voice their preference (even though I did not ask). Do people think that natural nappy and kinky African hair is unattractive. Is it, at best, fascinating and never good?
I have worn my hair natural for 15 months and I believe that I have worn it well. I know that I had good hair. Kinky AF, but good. I’m happy and unapologetic about relaxing it. What’s that thing? A change is as good as a rest? Yeah.
However, after today, I feel like going bald and doing this natural hair thing again. This time, to prove a point. You know? To show natural beauty and all those doctrines and teachings that fanatical naturalistas preach. I feel like joining a movement, maybe even a secret black hair society, or a cult in which you bare your chest and kinky coils (lol).
I advocate for one thing, and only one thing: keep your hair healthy. Feel free to go out and do whatever the hell you want with it, go bald, relax it, wear your weave, wear your dreadlocks, wear your afro, whatever rocks your boat.
Healthy hair is good hair. Period.